Queue up the Batman Music

We visited the bat cave today. The original plan was to do a 13km hike through a national park to the town where are staying tonight, Zuheros. A special permit is required, but unfortunately, the national park canceled all entry today due to conditions. I mean if I’m honest, if the hike was still a go I might have had to call it a fluffy bunny day and stay in the van.

This area of Spain as been experiencing a 10-year drought. That whole “Rain in Spain falls mainly on the plane” was probably true up until we arrived. Usually there are about 15 days of rain for the month of March. We have been here 8 days, and it has rained almost constantly every day. It makes it tough to do a hiking tour when it’s pouring rain. We have been on so many photography workshops where the conditions don’t cooperate – fall color without the color, spring wildflowers without flowers, etc. We are always impressed with our guides’ abilities to adapt and improvise when things don’t go according to plan.

Today was one of those days. Our guides were tasked with trying to figure out how to take a group of hikers on a walk without getting wet while Spain was experiencing torrential rains. They decided a visit to a bat cave was in order, Cueva de los Murciélagos.

No pictures were allowed here either, so unfortunately, you’ll have to put up with another verbal description.

We walked up and down 700 “natural” steps. When I say natural, these were not cement poured steps of a comfortable height and width. They were uneven steps hewn out of the rock. Many steps were covered in water that had seeped down from the ceiling. In some places you were so stooped over (imagine the position you assume after being punched in the stomach) grabbing on to a small cable strung along a series of wobbling steel pipes hammered into the ground. At one point we were winding upward through narrowing openings on steep stairs stooped over and grasping for dear life. The cave guide called this stretch of stairs “The Stairs of Sighs”. I renamed it, “The Stairs of Whines” because we were all complaining incessantly.

There were three primary focal points in the cave. The first area had cave paintings, petroglyphs, that were made with charcoal over 5000 years ago. The tour guide said the figures were goats, Peter countered with they looked more like wooly mammoths….I just kept walking and was thankful she didn’t speak fluent English.

The second area of note, was a hole that she lit up with her flashlight, in which you looked down into the abyss. She let you know, down there, where you couldn’t see, was the location where they found a prehistoric skeleton that was dated to 7000 years ago. The skull has been removed but the skeleton is still embedded in the stone. Ironically on our way out of the cave, she pointed out a staircase, which looked like it was made of concrete, that went straight down to the location of the skeleton. I kept wondering, why she needed to point out the abyss too. And then she turned off the lights, and I was wondering what prehistoric man was doing so far down in a dark cave, and then the thought occurred to me he was dying down there, and then I realized I still had more steps to climb and I’d better focus if I was going to get out of there alive.

There was also a dramatic room of formations, stalagmites, stalactites, and stalgnates. They were all aptly named: The Leaning Tower of Pisa, The Organ, Russia’s Red Square, Familia Sagrada. One formation was innocently named, The Asparagus, but the guide said every school group she brings through renames it to something she won’t repeat. I wonder how many school groups around the world wonder through caves and make similar observations.

Other areas of note in the cave: the location where the remains of a bear and a 4-year old boy were found. It is undetermined if they were together when they died, but our group had plenty of preposterous explanations, the bear ate the boy and then fell through a crack in the ceiling, the boy and bear were friends, well you get the idea. It was just another reminder of Death by Cave and that focus was required to make it out alive.

Oh, and there are 4 different types of bats that live in the cave. I’m pleased to report that none of them were in residence during our visit. I’d hate to be the target of bat guano and have to wash my hair on a non-hair wash day.

Now on to Antonio. He is one of our guides, and Peter has anointed him “a very good driver”. For those of you who know Peter’s commitment to “good” driving, he does not make this anointment easily. In fact in 23 years of marriage, I don’t believe he has ever once said that about me.

Antonio is driving a specialized van, that fits 11 passengers plus the driver. The van was purchased in the UK, so the steering wheel is on the right, but Spanish roads are the same as US roads, you drive on the right. Oh, and it’s a manual transmission.

To put it simply, Antonio owns the road. For example, we drove through a small town, and the road was partially blocked by emergency vehicles. Antonio without hesitation crossed over to the left side of the road to drive past, was stopped by emergency crews that pounded on both sides of the van for him to roll-down the windows. His response….. “Pardon!” And he kept driving.

And you should see this man whip this massive van through the narrow streets of Zuheros, up and down roads that rival the steepness of San Francisco, and are as narrow as the roads in remote Ireland, except in Zuheros they have tall buildings along the sides.

I am disappointed to report we have discovered someone who has violated the stated luggage requirements and smuggled in contraband shoes. In preparation for this trip we received specific instructions about the size and weight of luggage we could bring, to ensure it all fits in the van. And more importantly that our luggage had to be light enough to be carried up the unknown number of stairs to our hotel room. Antonio, drove the tour vehicle over from Italy, and upon casual conversation, we discovered he had a third pair of shoes stowed in the van. This is nothing short of scandalous!!!!! I mean, I had to make some hard choices to ensure I could bring my 4 pairs of shoes. The item that was removed to make room for a second pair of fashion sneakers……my rain pants. I would have cherished having them at this point. The white fashion sneakers? Worn less than 1 hour on the cobblestone streets of Seville. Well, I guess if you have to drive in these conditions you should get some perks.

In Adventures in Hygiene: We checked into Zuheros’ only hotel and Cat lit the CatSignal almost immediately. “URGENT! You may not have enough towels in your room.” Unfortunately, we were already in the hallway when we received the message, so Peter b-lined to the unattended housekeeping cart and snagged a towel. Antonio who witnessed this act of thievery, aptly pointed out that the towels may not be clean. Peter, without hesitation, plunged his nose into the towel, said it didn’t smell and walked off. This my friends is what traveling with the Andrades is like.

All this happened before 2:00 PM. We had a busy afternoon and evening which I will fill you in on tomorrow once I am “fresh”. We just returned from a 4 hour dinner, it’s late, I’m stuffed and am in desperate need of a shower.